The depths of our psyche hold all the stories ever told in the world. The depths of our psyche hold every detail of our own current story. In our minds, bodies, auras — countless stories, emotional scars, losses, wins, lessons, wisdom — are housed. Unprocessed emotions turn into baggage and if left unprocessed for many years, could even manifest as dis-ease in the body. Processing feelings, as in — you look at them, acknowledge them, reflect on them, relate how you came to have these feelings, understand what you need to learn from them (which does not include how to avoid feeling uncomfortable) and also to make peace with what happened before and where you are now — is the only way to move through difficult feelings. It’s also how you learn to cultivate more of the feelings you want to feel. Facing, processing and integrating your emotions into your daily experience is how you ultimately release what you don’t want to hold onto and gain wisdom from the lessons.
How are you writing your Book of Life? Are you engaging in all experiences — challenging or otherwise? Life makes it difficult and yet the very preciousness of being alive offers the opportunity to change, to do things differently, to transform.
It’s obvious that our modern culture doesn’t have a healthy relationship with emotions and feelings. We either completely detach and expect people to box up their emotional selves in order to “function” in society — or we place too much importance on our emotional responses, trying to police others from eliciting feelings in us. Both of those processes are low road endeavors, feeding the lower/small ego in all of us. Overused terms — like “suck it up” to imply someone needs to be tough or buzz words like “triggered,” “safe space,” “trauma” to imply that we are all crumbling messes — are an attempt to describe feelings that come from a real place, to acknowledge and honor mental and emotional health — but the terms alone fail to quantify the layers of being that we are OR to qualify any personal responsibility for our own choices and their outcomes.
The high road of emotions come from being able to utilize the communication coming from your feeling body to regulate your own responses and behavior. Nobody ever said it was easy being human, or that emotions are easy to understand and deal with, but the truth is emotions become MUCH easier to work with when you understand how important it is to face your feelings — when you understand how examining your own responses and understanding your own triggers, projections and assumptions allows you to Know Yourself. As you come to truly Know Yourself more, you will cultivate more grace and greater empathy for yourself. This is how you create tools to regulate your nervous system and avoid the fight or flight response that has become so prevalent for just minor, everyday stressors. We are all over-reacting or under-reacting to things. And way too many of us expect others (those outside of ourselves) to be responsible for how we feel or for ensuring we feel safe and comfortable at all times
Life is not safe and comfortable at all times. Nothing in life, ever, is truly guaranteed. We live this incredible existence to experience it all — the good and the bad. We signed up for this on a Soul level. It’ll be hills and valleys the whole ride through! For what is the mountain peak without the beautiful valley below to behold it? It’s simple truth — dark and light come together — sweet and bitter — happiness and pain — it’s not a flaw in the design. There’s a flaw in our perception of the design. Reflecting on the cycles of the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years of our lives show that it’s actually a beautiful harmony orchestrated by a mix of destiny and free will.
A New Moon in Cancer, the sign ruled by the Moon, is asking us to shed our emotional baggage, our exoskeletons that keep us protected, and face the dormant feelings in our psyche. Face them and transmute them. Like an overflowing mailbox, our painful experiences and emotional expressions get stuffed into the box one by one, until it is overflowing. Emotions have a way of coming back with a vengeance the longer you put off dealing with them.
Easier to say than do, obviously, but Cancer reminds us of how just like the Lunar Cycles of its ruling planet, we too must cycle through our pain and difficult feelings to transmute them (move them from a place of pain to a place of understanding and then release). True healing and transformation can happen with facing pain (even if in small moments). It completes the loop or circle. Experience — feelings — processing + integration — healing — release — growth. This is the process.
So you may ask, what is the difference between mental health and emotional health? They are actually different, although they are inextricably linked, two sides of the same coin. Our minds, that beautiful piece of technology called the brain, thinks upwards of 60,000 thoughts per day - thousands per hour. Like more than we could ever actually pull out and explore. Because of that constant activity, we cannot trust our brains alone to give us all the information we need. We also have emotions or feelings, which allow us to communicate with ourselves. You may wonder, is it our thoughts creating feelings or is it our feelings creating thoughts — well it’s both! It’s a feedback loop.
You know how thinking about certain things will create uncomfortable emotions in you and other thoughts or activities will produce happy feelings? Our minds are constantly stimulated from external and internal triggers. Our emotions are typically more subtle, picking up on the unseen or invisible vibes coming from people and situations. They are mostly internal.
Mind — be the Witness, just observe and notice what is happening without judgment or attachment to outcomes. That is how you use your mind to direct your emotions or rather, to keep your emotions from taking over.
Emotions — notice and observe what you are feeling and think about it. Use your logic to determine if you are utilizing intuition or if you are dipping into your fear centers and freezing into shame or blame.
The mind helps regulate emotions but can go too far and shut them down. Emotions can get so strong (especially the longer we push them down) that they take over our ability to think rationally. There is a true balance. Emotions can help us understand more about ourselves and what causes us to have emotional responses. We can use that to self-regulate our nervous system by using our minds to logically set boundaries that allow us to process emotions w/o losing ourselves in them. To be truly aware of what we feel, without a reaction, is a solid state of flow.
That is why compassion and kindness are the best ways to keep a happy heart. As is non-attachment and being a Witness or Observer to life. Like a wise sage inside your mind, you can disconnect from the web of Earth’s collective human consciousness and simply be. Just be — with yourself, with nature, with your art/music/dance/writing, with your favorite book or gadget, wherever it is when you are truly with yourself, just you and you. Talk to that person. Be kind to that person. When you are kind to yourself through all your missteps and foibles, it makes it a whole lot easier to extend that mindset to others. Through being kind to ourselves, allowing ourselves to just be, to process emotions in our own way (as long as we do it and do so w/out harming ourselves or others) and to witness our own process — is the road to healing. These are small, DIY ways that you can chip away at your inner pain and heal. Each person that heals even tiny parts of themselves, is adding healing energy to the collective. We do the inner, self work to be able to go out into the world with more light which we then share with others. Meditation, mindfulness, yoga, prayer, deep healing work — all of it restructures our DNA, reprograms our neural pathways, adding new neurons of resiliency and in so doing, adding more resiliency to the collective consciousness.
Humanity is being called to come together. The days of rugged individualism are waning as we seek a new reality forward in community, as a harmonized symphony of shared responsibility and belonging. It’s time we embrace the other and stop emphasizing just our personal experience. We all belong to this Earth together, to each other.
Cancer asks us to FEEL, to go deeper and get in touch with the parts of ourselves that we hide or push back, the ones we don’t feed enough or possibly feed too much. Can you face your shit, your past, your traumas and your patterns with honesty and no judgment, with a true curiosity of trying to figure out who you are and what makes you tick so you can operate from a more authentic and confident place? Can you be responsible for your own emotions and accountable for your decisions without blame or shame? The world cannot put up cushions for you — it is your own job to tend to your emotional and mental health. Let this New Moon in Cancer direct you to doing the inner work to make your life flow easier. Fast forward through years of struggle by facing your stuff head on — do the deep, uncomfortable, potentially painful work of healing.
Honor your feeling body, your emotions. Don’t just push it away or discount it. Have conversations with yourself and check in. Let feelings come up so that you are processing, integrating and releasing. The only way around something is through it. Then you can gain wisdom and understanding about yourself and realize that you can, in fact, be there for yourself and see yourself as you are. No judgment, just awareness. With awareness comes curiosity and with curiosity comes learning, with learning comes growth.
New Moon Blessing — New Moon in Cancer on July 17, 2023
We are in a Double Cancer sky, meaning Sun in Cancer and Moon in Cancer. Remember when it’s a New Moon, it’s a dark sky. There is a New Moon every month and it always lands when the Sun is in the same sign. (Next month we’ll have a New Moon in Leo at the end of Leo.)
Since Cancer is the sign of “I Feel” we are being given a double dose of emotional energy so it’s okay to go inside and be alone during this New Moon. It’s a time to plant seeds of growth for what you want next. Cancer represents the home, nurturing, real estate, mother, ancestry, emotions. What new seeds can you plant in these areas?
Right now the sky is dark, the last bit of the exhale before the inhale begins. In Yoga, the “out” breath represents the waning moon, with the last wisp of breath before the inhale representing the New Moon. The “in” breath represents the waxing moon, with the top of the inhale (before you start to exhale) representing the Full Moon. Like the cycles of breath, the Lunar Cycles are like a collective inhale and exhale. At the space between the exhale to inhale — you are setting seeds of intention, you are breathing in new air and opening to the nourishment of oxygen feeding your lungs. Plant seeds that will be nourished by your intentions and actions.
For this Double Cancer sky, New Moon — spend some time alone with yourself in contemplation. Whether it’s just quiet time doing nothing in particular (no phones or computers or TV - no music with words) or meditation, yoga, journaling, quiet walk in Nature — get in touch with beautiful you and see if you can learn something new about how you use or deny your emotions.
New Moon Affirmation: I go within to discover the wisdom already inside me. I acknowledge my feelings and release judgment toward myself and others. I accept the gift of Light coming from Source and honor it by reflecting Light in my life.
Also, we have a little good luck charm in the cosmos touching our areas of health, discipline, details, service — calling us to act on the things we need and want to do to level up our health — mental, emotional, physical, financial, relational, spiritual, etc. This is a wonderful time to start one new good habit for yourself and add it into your daily or weekly routine. Instead of focusing on dropping a bad habit, start a new positive habit or routine or project related to your health, finances, organization, planning and details, volunteering, etc. It could be going to bed earlier, eating dinner earlier, adding meditation to your day, more exercise, get a financial app and organize your personal budget, organize your garage, volunteer somewhere you’ve always wanted to, say a daily positive affirmation or prayer before going to work.
Be in service to that which serves your highest good! You have an excellent chance to actually stick with this new habit or positive project between now and the end of August so get it going!
Happy New Moon in Cancer. Blessings to all!
Coming Soon:
Astrology 101 Series - The Basics: Origins & Foundational Principles
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Images
Light through Sea: StockSnap - pixabay
Woman in contemplation: Benjamin Balazs - pixabay
Woman in field of lavender - Getty Images
Cancer glyph graphic - Dorethe + Darkmoon_Art - pixabay